


and all this devotion (was rushing out of me)

by vulpines



Series: so that I would wake up to this moment of love [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (tldr: brief references to ben and rey having past sexual experiences with others), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben and Rey are both bi, Ben and Rey are switches, F/M, Fluff and Smut, No Pregnancy, Pegging, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Safe to Read if Triggered by Pregnancy, Strap-Ons, brief mentions of other minor & unnamed characters, possibly the filthiest AND the most devoted thing I've ever written? you tell me, soft fem dom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:34:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26565205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulpines/pseuds/vulpines
Summary: To see this massive man she loves - capable of both devotion and destruction - wrecked by her hands in a way that encapsulates the definition of sheer adoration & pleasure instead of anger & regret; it would be an equally powerful and humbling thing.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: so that I would wake up to this moment of love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745680
Comments: 31
Kudos: 53
Collections: Comfort Gems 2020, Reylo Pegging Fics, The Sub!Ben Collection





	and all this devotion (was rushing out of me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [misscharleypollard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/misscharleypollard/gifts).



> This is something I literally wrote in bursts over the last 24 hours - half of it on my iPhone notes tbh; this has no beta and isn't really edited so huge apologies for any spelling or grammatical mistakes or err in flow! I was just very inspired by a recent art by MizTooka on Twitter, which I've included in a link in the endnotes.
> 
> Thanks C, for your constant inspiration, indulgence, and most importantly friendship! You’re a gem! <3

Of course _it_ takes some practice. 

Neither of them are necessarily totally new to the act in general (Rey remembers fondly a few enjoyable yet fumbling trials for pleasure with a fellow young scavenger girl during cooler nights on Jakku; Ben had gone thoughtful tinged with a haze of regret thinking of Tai in his youth while on the Jedi path). 

Maybe a part of both of them had assumed that - with such a magnificent and powerful bond - such things would come easier and intrinsically understood. That was not to be the case; but with time and eager loving enthusiasm on all levels, they grew to learn each other’s bodies and pleasure while cracking open the depths of their hearts as well.

Their first attempt wasn’t perfect the way the holos make everything out to be, but it was perfect for _them_. Rey wouldn’t trade anything for that first time. Even when he came too quickly and she yanked a little too hard on his hair; the haze and anxiety but above all hope and yearning and the feeling of a spark finally catching flame after a year apart & near-permanent death...she’d take all of that a thousand times more as long as they stood together.

They’ve come a long way from that rushed first time after Exegol. And Ben...Rey wants to laugh-shout-cry-scream in exhilaration at the way he’s able to make her feel so good. There is more than something to be said about the way his tongue and hands and cock and lips bring to her to the brink of pleasure and beyond over and over again. She won’t deny the primal satisfaction she feels deep down when he’s moving heavily over her, embraced in a cocoon of desire under the cover of his body, arms and legs wrapping around to feel every solid inch of him. 

The first time _this_ comes up though is a few months later. He’s thrusting up into her on what’s now officially _their_ bed on the Falcon, large thumbs rubbing circles around her peaked nipples; Rey loves a lot of different positions but there’s a sensual softness that comes from her being on top, sitting upright face-to-face, shared the salty-sweet heady air. His hips grind up and hit a spot that has her clenching wetly around him and the shared feedback loop of pleasure makes them both moan. 

_You feel sooo good inside me!_

_I wonder how it would feel with **you** inside of **me**._

The combination of both their surprise at the admission and quick acceptance has them both shuddering & flying off that delicious peak. 

Later in the aftermath, as Ben starts to slip into that phase of half-awareness right before exhaustion hits, it’s Rey who abruptly remembers and files this realization away for the future.

= = =

The future ends up being two days later, after being woken up by Ben softly stroking the inside of her thighs followed by her pushing his face down between her legs. He intends to take his time indulging in her folds, the delightful sounds she makes, and the feel of her hands rooted in his hair; but Rey grunts and proclaims her hunger for _real food, Ben, c’mon!_ and so he eats her out with a combination of broad famished swipes and smaller purposeful licks to her clit that always has her shaking within minutes. 

She brings it up over caf and a delicious stack of panna cakes topped with jogan fruit custard. Ben knows she loves watching him cook & the sheer rare indulgence of it all - that she gets to have him, that they get to have _this_ life after nearly losing both! - is so overwhelming that she knows she wants to give him almost anything he asks for. 

Ben coughs and blushes when she does, eyes darting down and mouth working in that way she knows means he’s uncomfortable & trying to stop himself from blurting out something without thinking. She can tell in the past he would’ve fled, channeled his discomfort into rage & taken it out on his surroundings. He’s not completely healed - he might not ever be and that’s okay - but they know each other well enough to handle things differently. So Rey takes his hand and opens herself up fully in the bond they share so he can see the utter lack of shame or disgust and all of the acceptance & love & intrigue she has for the concept.

“Are you sure?” he asks later for the fifth time that day, and she’s finally starting to get a little irritated even though she _knows_ he’s asking just to be safe and clear and certain. They practice forms and she - as usual - manages to knock him flat on his back. They’re both breathing hard, nostrils flaring and bodies breaking out into a little bit of a sweat as Rey lifts his chin a bit with the edge of her staff as she stands triumphant above him when it hits them both.

To see this massive man she loves - capable of both devotion and destruction - wrecked by her hands in a way that encapsulates the definition of sheer adoration & pleasure instead of anger & regret; it would be an equally powerful and humbling thing.

(And so Rey approaches this opportunity the same way she learned scavenging and taught herself flying & multiple languages as a child in the Jakku wasteland.

This first time takes a lot more preparation, but both of them are eager students in learning what Ben likes. While Rey isn’t a tiny human by any means, their noticeable size difference leads to some laughable attempts. Slowly but surely though, they relax and find a way that suits them both. Ben enjoys taking toys with more ribbing along the sides, but Rey prefers a smoother contraption that allows them both to be penetrated at the same time for mutual physical pleasure. It worlds away from the lives they led in the time before, but it’s better than anything they could have envisioned.)

= = =

Now, it’s been over a year and Rey knows him well enough to gauge his moods (and vice versa). She walks inside the Falcon one evening after a meditation session with a few of her so-called students (a casual mix of force sensitive adults and children who Ben and Finn help out with on occasion too), nose wrinkling at the wave of negative energy flooding the air. 

When in the right frame of mind, Ben actually has a good eye & mind for strategy and schematics. It comes out on casual evenings playing dejarik with friends (although he is a bit of a sore loser which can be equal parts infuriating and endearing) and it’s what makes him a valuable resource & occasional consultant in the wider efforts towards rebuilding a new galactic government. That plus a combination of both external demand and & an internal need for public atonement - for his parents’ memory most especially and which he & Rey have argued about several times - means he’s often pushed to wits’ end when dealing with politicians and generals; of whom, a majority still maintain some level of a grudging feelings towards him (Kylo Ren, it seems, cannot just disappear so quietly and peacefully). 

Rey finds him digging through one of the side panels on the Falcon; a way to keep his hands occupied without fully destroying the heirloom ship itself (another thing they’ve fought about before). Ben’s got technical expertise but he’s not nearly as knowledgeable, experienced, and conscientious about the wiring as she is even on a good day. By the way he barely acknowledges her presence as she comes up behind him - mouth working and kneeling body taut with aggravation - she can tell this is definitely a bad day. 

While not all of their bad days end with sex, they’ve gotten to know each other well enough to recognize what the other needs. Sometimes, one of them just needs to unleash their aggression which leads to faux-fights with teeth bared in a forest or a field. Other times, like when Rey gets frustrated at lacking in her own abilities as a teacher or Ben feels the weight of his family & losses too deeply, nothing feels better than just sharing a meal and a long warm shower tangled up with each other. Then there are the days Ben returns home with the urge to be a bit dominant, fucking her thoroughly into the mattress as he sucks lovemarks on her neck until her eyes start to roll into the back of her head. 

Rey rubs a hand across the tight expanse of his shoulders before gripping the back of his neck lightly. Seeing him so wound up in silent displeasure causes something to unfurl within. She wants to push him, love him, and crack him open like a porg’s egg until he’s loose and writhing beneath her, mind-blown and unfocused on anything that isn’t _her_ and their shared rapture.

“Ben.” She says sharply with a poke through their bond. He jolts, looking up at her from the wires in his hands and stills - presumably - at the look in her eyes. 

“Go get ready for me, love.” 

= = =

Rey sits right at the edge of their bed when he emerges from the fresher, waiting with a purple dildo jutting out between her muscular thighs from the strap on her waist. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she implores, softly, giving him a chance to say no and redirect the situation if he needs something else from her instead of this. But Ben shakes his head from side to side curtly, and with that Rey gestures imperiously to the floor before continuing. 

“Well if you’re not going to speak, then you better put your mouth to better use.”

He kneels sullenly, moving closer on all fours until he’s right in front of her before licking a stripe from the bottom of the dildo that’s closest to her folds to the top. They both moan - Rey because the minor touch puts pressure on the part of the toy curved up inside of her and Ben because he _does_ truly love this. 

She allows his hands to come up to stroke her inner thighs and then her tits as he turns more attention to the task at hand, smirking whilst knowing a part of him would rather be lavishing her cunt with his tongue instead of the synthetic plum-hued length. But Rey lets herself delight in the way he tweaks and flicks at her nipples - now tightly peaked at the rhythmic rubbing of his thumbs - before pulling him off to stand upright in front of her. 

He’s almost fully hard, that mouthwatering cock starting to leak with beads of pre-cum; she can’t resist, moving her head to suck just the tip into her own mouth, relishing in his low groan and the salty heavy twitch of it on her tongue before moving away to nip lightly at his soft underbelly.

“Be a good boy for me and turn around now.”

Ben does as she says and drops to his knees on all fours facing away from her now - although only after dipping down to kiss her sensually in a way that nearly (just nearly) leaves her breathless. She loves the look of him laid out like this before her, likes knowing before long he’ll be panting and flushing underneath, completely beholden to her. 

She reaches behind her for the bottle of lubricant, squirting a bit onto her hands and letting some dribble onto the divot of his hips and his tailbone right above his ass. Rey uses one hand to lube up the toy between her thighs (although she can still see it has slight sheen, a remnant of his saliva on it from before) while the other goes to stroke down Ben’s back from the top of his spine. _Relax_ , she tries to convey through both the bond and the sway of her hands, a lightly massaging touch as she enjoys feeling some of his tension start to dissipate.

Then she focuses on his ass. While arguably not his greatest physical asset (she laughs privately), truth be told every part of him is gorgeous to her. She lets a finger lightly graze his perineum, taking in the little shiver of his body and shallow pant that emerges from his mouth, before letting her lubed thumb circle around his small hole. 

“Open up for me, darling,” Rey commands, nudging her knee and bent leg a bit between his own so that his hips automatically widen a bit, giving her more room to work. 

She pours more lube onto her hands into the crease of his glutes - maybe a little too much lube, but more is always better & more enjoyable than not (they've both learned this the hard way). She starts with one hand, the thumb that was circling his rim slowly dipping to press lightly inside. Rey always likes to take her time in getting him ready, devouring his moans and grunts and the light rhythmic push of his hips back to follow once she removes the appendage. 

“Is this alright?” She asks, not letting him wait for long & coming back this time with two fingers rubbing around instead of her thumb.

“Yes, kriff — _please_ Rey.” He speaks - _finally!_ crows her brain - sounding a little wrecked already even though she’s barely done anything to him. 

He hisses a bit as she presses in with two of her right fingers. Rey revels in how tight and hot he feels inside, giving him a moment to adjust before starting to scissor them slightly to open him up. Ben groans lowly when she leans forward, tits grazing his lower back as she reaches around with her free hand to stroke his cock. She usually likes to see him come untouched - the swell of power in her veins as she milks him dry is so much better than any rush the Dark Side might’ve tempted her with in the past because it’s a power steeped in tender adoration.

As he becomes more pliant under her, Rey stops scissoring and instead moves the two of her fingers up just past the knuckle to press against _that_ spot. She knows she’s reached it when Ben’s cock throbs suddenly in her other hand & he groans again (“ _fuckkk right there baby…”_ ) and his body jolts a bit. 

“You ready for me, love?” She asks, almost redundantly, as he keeps nodding and moaning and moving one of his own hands from the floor to stop hers from moving up & down his leaking cock.

 _Please please pleasepleaseplease I’m close_ rings through the bond, and with that Rey softly removes her fingers from his ass to add more lube over her strap.

She works it inside leisurely, enjoying the undulations in his muscles and the curve of his spine from her view above as well as the uncontrollable begging coming from his mouth and through their connection. She can feel the other side of the toy moving within her with each short thrust and grind of her hips, heat building & slowly working her back up to the ledge he’s already reached.

When they’re finally ass to hips, they both let out contented moans. Rey reaches a hand to tangle lightly in the ends of his hair (one of her favorite things), tilting his head back in hopes of catching a glimpse of his face. Unfortunately, the Falcon has a lack of mirrors which makes seeing his entire expression while she’s within him in this position near-impossible. But there are ample opportunities - past, present, and future - where she’ll be able to see that wide-eyed wonderstruck look, drunk in love. 

He’s quieter on the first few small thrusts but Rey knows exactly how to make him sing.

_“You’re so beautiful, Ben. You needed this, didn’t you?”_

She lets the words drip from her mouth like syrup; a slow, languid thrust followed by a twist of her hips yields a nod and a whimper.

 _“Let me take care of you, Ben…”_ comes with a light squeeze of his balls underneath and _“You look **so** perfect, taking my cock so sweetly…” _comes with a brush of her nails against his pecs, and so on. 

(The Rey who grew up alone waiting on Jakku could never envision being lucky enough to have this, would’ve maybe giggled thinking about ever saying these sorts of things to a lover. But there is no shame for either of them in this world, tangled up together in an ever-giving cycle.)

With her voice mixing in the air accented by the wet sounds of _them_ and the hum of the Falcon in the background, it doesn’t take long; especially once she flips the switch for the toy to one of it’s medium-low vibration settings. Immediately, Ben yelps and pushes his ass back into her hips, body already so attuned and keyed up. 

_“Reyyy...fuck, sweetheart...harder! right there! feels so amazing, thank you love you so much thank you thankyou…”_

She can feel that he’s close within a several more thrusts, obliques twitching minutely under her hands as she tries to hit that spot again which makes him go wild. She wishes again that she could see the overwhelming pleasure overtaking his gorgeous face; but the noises he makes and being able to watch the way the muscles of his back and abdomen tighten with each stroke is delectable enough.

“Come on love...let go for me, darling...”

He chokes on a high-pitched sound - half brainless relief, half a sob - coming in spurts over the floor and his stomach & chest, back arching and head dipped low. She feels his endorphins as a ripple effect in the Force; an echo not quite enough to get her there fully but a mellow surge she lets herself enjoy through the bond nonetheless.

Ben shakes through his orgasm, breaths heaving and arms quivering similar to when he’s at the edge of burnout during a particularly hard lightsaber training session. She can feel that he’s close to falling forward and slowly, gently works her way out of him with a grunt to sit back on the edge of the bed, guiding his body with a little push from the Force (it’s a near dead weight now in the aftermath of being so decadently used) up and back to settle between her legs. The strap and longer part of the toy hang heavy between them, the latter closer to her clit now and still vibrating lightly & glistening with a combination of Ben’s fluids and the lubricant. 

Rey’s still on edge - feeling the pressure of the smaller end of the toy buzzing within her a bit differently at this angle now that his back is leaning fully against her. It takes only a few brief minutes of grinding against the toy with her thighs bracing wide around his body for her to reach her own hazy peak, pleasure accentuated by Ben occasionally stroking her knee and sucking on her fingers in an imitation of the way he sucked on her the strap earlier.

When she comes to, Ben’s still leaning against her with his thick beautiful hair tousled roughly and sweaty around the edges of his angular face. He reaches his right arm up to cup her cheek, angling so that their gazes meet fully once more. His deep eyes gleam with awe and adoration and gratefulness & she knows the flush on his cheeks must mirror her own. 

They exchange short, sweet, wet kisses as their breathing evens out and the heat of their bodies slowly starts to cool down. _You’re so good... **too** good to me, sweetheart,_ he whispers through the bond, and Rey wants to laugh-cry-argue because doesn’t she feel exactly the same way about him? 

The way Ben sometimes says these things, looks at her like he can’t believe she’s real & here, on his knees devoted to their pleasure before her...and doesn’t he realize it goes both ways? He brings her so much happiness and that final core piece of belonging she’d been seeking all her life without truly knowing. And Rey gets an equal amount of fulfillment in knowing she can do the same for him. 

“Thank _you_.” She says the two words simply, emphasizing the last word most of all with a kiss to his forehead and then his lips. It’s an awkward angle, but the Falcon swells ripe with a blend of dozy joy and contentment - that inexplicable mix of emotions that is _them_. 

**Author's Note:**

> link to the inspirational artwork (NSFW) here!: https://twitter.com/MizTooka/status/1307425882139693060?s=20
> 
> (sorry that it ended a bit abruptly, I may come back and rework bits of this to be more readable. please let me know if there are any glaring spelling or grammatical errors or tags that should be added! thanks for reading!)
> 
> (also: title from the song "never let me go" by florence + the machine. it's definitely a fave of mine with lots of nostalgia for another prior ship, but I thought it suited this fic/concept well!)


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